Two of the most powerful words in our language usually go overlooked and taken for granted. A major secret to happiness is knowing when to say “Yes” or “No”.
Yes and No are so vitally important and powerful because they give permission. Sometimes the only thing we need to do the right thing (or not do the wrong thing) is permission. So right here, right now, I give you permission to do the right thing in any situation you might encounter. I give you permission to not do the wrong things.
You now have permission to say Yes at the right times.
You have permission to say No at the right times.
I’m not talking about right and wrong simply in terms of morality. If you’ve been working too hard or isolating yourself the right thing to do is get out. Hit up friends. Plan a hike or other activity and get out and about. If you’ve been “too busy” to spend time with your loved ones, the right thing is to re-prioritize your life. Saying Yes and No at the right times will help you navigate your way to healthy, balanced life choices.
WHEN to say “Yes” or “No”?
Usually you already know what you should do. Deep down you know what is right. It’s a matter of listening to your heart and giving yourself permission to do what you know is best. Well, you have the permission, so start today.
If you have trouble deciphering the whispers of your heart, just think forward. What will be the consequences of your actions? Will they bring peace and harmony? Or will they steal your peace and happiness? Act wisely.
HOW to say “Yes” or “No”
1) Be courageous. Doing the right thing can be the hardest thing to do — especially if we are fighting habits of our own behavior. A people pleaser’s habit is to always say Yes to people. For them, saying No takes courage. An introvert or shut-in’s habit is to say No to social situations. Everyone needs social interaction, so saying Yes will take some courage!
2) Be firm. Changing our habits can feel counter-intuitive. A people pleaser saying No to people might feel uncertain as to this decision. Or, saying No to friends when they want you to hang out (even though you reeeeeeally need to take care of your own self) can be difficult to do, so be firm. This brings up another point — you may encounter resistance from other people in your life who expect you to behave the way you always have. Remember: They are not the authority on your life — YOU are. If your behaviors aren’t healthy for you then you need to be firm and take charge. Stand by your decision and honor it.
3) Be kind. You don’t have to be mean to be assertive. People may not understand your decisions. Heck, your own brain will resist you. So be kind and compassionate in your approach. You don’t have to be a Yes or No Nazi. Just be courageous, stand firm, and use compassion to reinforce your decision.
I’m done babbling. As you go forward through this day, week and your life, pay close attention to when you say “Yes” or “No”. Weigh the consequences of your choice, use wisdom then stand strong.
Here’s to your happiness!